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Slobodana Milosevic, President of the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia Slobodana Milosevic was born on August 20, 1941 in the town of Pozarevac in the Republic of Serbia. She was the bastard daughter of a visiting foreign dignitary (family photo left). While many considered her father a mass murderer and megalomaniac, young Slobodana loved her "Papi Dolf" and would miss him greatly after his mysterious disappearance in 1945. Before entering politics, Miss Milosevic had an extensive career as a darling of the American entertainment industry. She had a bright start as the original Cindy Brady in the 1960s hit "The Brady Bunch," but subsequently left the show after the producers thought her personality better suited her for the part of "Sam, the Butcher." After a few years hiatus, Slobadana returned to Hollywood as "Slobie", one of the original Monkees. Unfortunately, her drunken ramblings about "ethnically cleansing the Beatles" led the Monkees to fire Miss Milosevic in early 1966. Still stinging from the Monkees imbroglio, Miss Milosevic moved to Dallas, Texas where she tried her luck at an old love, American football. While she was unable to make the team, her buxom good looks won her a much-coveted 5-year contract with the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Slobadana was a favorite of home team and visitors alike, and over the years many of her fellow cheerleaders tried desperately to emulate the unique look that made Slobodana such a hit with the fans. In the mid-1980s, Slobodana gave music another try with a brief stint as a back-up singer for a pop superstar. In 1990, in the first democratic elections in Yugoslavia since World War II, Miss Milosevic was elected President of Serbia by a landslide margin of 20 million votes. An astonishing show of support, considering Serbia's population only numbers 10 million. In the 1992 General Elections, Miss Milosevic was again elected President of Serbia by an overwhelming majority of voters. The mysterious puncture-wound death of every one of her opponents prior to the election remains a mystery. Police have no leads, other than a yet-to-be-identified photo of a single suspect. In 1994, weary of terrorizing her own people, Slobodana took a sabatical in the US to assist her twin brother in a successful move to takeover the US Congress. After Newt found his sister's politics too liberal, Miss Milosevic reluctantly returned to Hollywood, where she starred in a hit movie. After making a killing in Tinsletown, Slobodana returned to her mother Serbia. Miss Milosevic continues to be the leading political and public figure in Serbia and Yugoslavia. She is married to Mirjana Markovic, Ph.D., and they have two children, Adolf and Benito. Slobodana and Mirjana are the first openly-lesbian couple to run a western country. The fact of her sexual orientation was a tightly-held secret until earlier this year. In addition to her interests in music and genocide, Slobodana likes to spend her free time at the gym.
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Slobodan.Milosevic@gov.yu
